I know exactly how you feel. I’ve had my best friends fuck me over , & it’s not a good feeling , it feels like the next person that tries to be your friend is gonna betray you and is gonna hurt you like the last person did & I really hope you can work things out with your boyfriend. But first you have to worry about you , always out yourself before anyone else. You need to be mentally prepared to be in a relationship , there has to be a lot of trust , if there is no trust , there is no relationship. A guy should always respect you , if he doesn’t he doesn’t deserve to be near you. My relationship with my ex was very toxic. We didn’t fight at the beginning and then things started changing. I became jealous , he was verbally and emotionally abusive , I didn’t want to admit it , but it was happening. & everyone tried to tell me and I didn’t listen. I was blinded by “love”. & it was really hard on me. After that it’s hard to trust anyone.